Effexor free a month later.....

....another repost from November 2009....

It’s been almost a month since I stopped taking Effexor and the worst seems to be over as far as the withdrawal symptoms.

I still have the persistent feeling of coming down with the flu and oddly enough these symptoms get worse as the day goes on. I wake up feeling all right but as the day goes on I feel worse. Aching joints, sensation of low grade fever, that feeling your head gets when you’re about to get the flu or a really nasty head cold. But in the morning it starts all over again. I feel like Sisyphus.

So now I’m waiting for the reality of my untreated bipolar, anxiety and OCD to kick in. So far I seem to be doing ok. A low grade depression that hasn’t yet crippled me although I’m sure that will change over time. It’s what missing that is telling - energy, motivation, general over all giving a fuck really.

I’m depressed enough that I don’t care and right now things are such in my life that there seems little point in really doing anything to improve the situation. I have to move back to a province I hate to be near relatives I don’t have much in common with. I’ll get to live in the whitest community I’ve ever seen. There is virtually zero diversity of any kind. Ethnicity, orientation, beliefs…. you name it and it’s conspicuous only by it’s absence.

And did I mention that there is no book store?

I suppose I don’t really have to move back. I could stay here and find my way. But staying here means being left behind while my husband moves anyway. He’s made it clear that he’ll go without me. Easy threat really for him to make. He knows I’d go wherever he goes and I’m working really hard not to hate him for that.